About Weirdness

Meg asked me to post some more detail about the various weirdnesses of being pregnant. In no particular order, here are a few of the weirdnesses I've experienced. I've skipped the basic stuff that everyone knows about, like having to pee every 15 minutes.

Please, feel free to add your own in the comments section.

1. Feeling the baby moving. People describe it as feeling like butterfly flutters or gas bubbles. To me, it definitely feels more like muscle twitches. Have you ever had a twitch in your eyelid or some other muscle that was tired out? Imagine that sensation in your lower abdomen, and that's pretty much exactly how it feels, especially for the first few weeks that you can feel it. Griffin is now starting to pack a bit more punch, but most of his little motions still feel like that. Now, though, he's starting to direct his little spasms down at my bladder or up at my diaphram, so that's a whole new level of weirdness to consider.

2. Twinges. Everywhere. And according to Mombi, I make some pretty interesting faces.

3. Emotions. I've done my fair share of dealing with depression, ADD, etc. But this random crying stuff, especially when I can't even find a negative trigger as a source, is downright kooky. Luckily, Mombi has a good sense of humor about it and she usually monologues on the importance of releasing toxins until either I run out of steam and pull myself together, or she convinces me to let her turn on a Harry Potter audio book and tuck me in for a nap. (Random fact: we've fallen asleep to Harry Potter nearly every night for the past 2+ years. I have a feeling that, at birth, Griffin will recognize three voices. Mine, Mombi's, and Jim Dale's.)

4. Stretching. Before becoming pregnant, I thought of it as being a bit like being a Transformer (TM). My body is designed to do this, right? So like a Transformer, I figured that some parts would flip up, some would flip down, some would pop out, and voila, the space would be there. Not so. Yes, things stretch and/or shift. But only when they have to. "Have to" means that there's something pushing on them too hard for them to resist. For example, I am now dealing with a back that hurts precisely where my floating ribs connect to my spine. They are floating higher and wider day by day, which means that all the connections have to shift. Similar events are occuring in my hips and among my internal organs. My abdominal musles are even starting to separate down the front of my belly. You've seen those drawings of where your organs go when you're pregnant? Honey, it's one thing to see the picture as a passive audience. Once you're experiencing it, those pictures get pretty scary. Looking at photos of beautiful full-term bellies? Terrifying!

5. Intense ambivalance. Sometimes, every food you hear mentioned sounds perfect. Other times, the name of the food sounds great, but when you think about it, you really have no interest in eating it. Other foods you can't stand the thought of, and then crave intensely as soon as they are no longer available. And it often seems that the hungrier you are, the more you hate the idea of food because you just know that it'll be impossible to be satisfied.

6. Dreams. See previous posts.

7. Society. Am I the only one who finds it odd when Co-workers call me Mommy or call me by my kid's name while looking at my belly? It doesn't bother me, but still, it's definitely in the "weirdness" category.

8. Time. It's worse than the week before a big vacation. Time goes so quickly, and so slowly. There's so much to think about and do, and yet there's nothing new to think about after a while, and not much you are "allowed" do.