Time goes weird again

Just when I think that things are moving quickly again, I realize for the umpteenth time just how long we still have to go. Last night I actually dreamt that I was ready to give birth and then realized that I still had to wait two months. And that's exactly how it feels. I feel big, Griffin feels strong, and psychologically I think that all three of us are ready. I have to consciously remind myself that I really don't want him to come this early, that it would be a hard time for all of us.

There's still much to do. The invite went out at work today for my shower, and get this... there are 40 people invited so far, and it's still growing! The person who is organizing it had to choose the date based partially on when she could get the largest training room in the building. I feel so special!!! I had a hunch that it was going to be big last week when she asked me to add to my registry, but I'm totally in awe. I gave her all the details for the cloth diapering stuff we want, in case people want to pool funds to get some for us. How cool would that be? Luckily I was included on the meeting invite, so I don't have to pretend not to know about it. And it's long enough away that I'll have a couple weekends to clean out the car!

I also still have to get everything set for the temp who will be handling my job while I'm out on leave. I've scheduled myself for an hour per day T/W/Th from now until she starts working with me in mid-March, so that I can get things all organized and written out. I've also started saying "no" to extra projects that I know will take a lot of time and may extend beyond when I have to leave. So on that level, I guess I'm finally thinking in terms of it being a short period of time until Griffin comes.

It reminds me a lot of moving to a new home. There's only so much you can do ahead of time, and there's the rush at the end that you know is coming but there's nothing you can do to spread it out or prepare ahead of time. For us, the true rush will start after the shower is done. Until then, it's a matter of staying as comfortable as possible, being patient, and finding as many positive distractions as possible!

When I start thinking that I still have a long long time to wait, I just think of all my internet friends and their new babies. The little ones are all so old already! When I remember that, I realize that there's really no time at all between now and then.

But then I think, "what if I'm a couple weeks late?" And on and on it goes, until I either fall asleep, get hungry, or find myself distracted by the rapid and impressive distortions of my abdomen.