My abs have given up.

Ouch. My body is definitely starting to strain outward to find extra space. I've got a constant burn just below my ribs. It feels hot and tingly, like I have a pulled muscle. The entire area below my belly button just plain aches. My pelvic floor feels like I accidentally did the splits. And my pelvis is getting loose, so my hips are sore, too. It takes me at least twice as long to walk anywhere, which really slows me down around the office.

Moving in general has become more of a challenge in the past week. I counted last night, and it takes me 8-10 separate motions to roll from my right side to my left (or the other direction) not counting the rearrangement of various pillows and supports. Even getting in and out of the car is a challenge. And I'm only at 33 weeks!

Being pregnant is lots of fun, and I'm totally enjoying the experience, but it sure isn't comfortable. Thankfully, I have my amazing partner to support me. She encourages me to do what I can, keeps me from doing what I don't need to do, and supports me when I get physically and mentally exhausted from trying to do too much. She really is amazing. I feel bad sometimes when I let it show that I've become upset or irritated by some little thing, like dishes on the counter or whatever, when I know that she's doing so much for me and for us already.

I try to tell her often just how much I appreciate everything, but I can't imagine how hard it must be for her to stay positive when hormones and fatigue get the better of me, and there's nothing she can do to help but bring me treats and encourage me to sleep. Still, what she does do means the world to me. She knows what I need before I do. She knows exactly where I need to be massaged, she knows when I need to eat something, she knows when to prompt me to sleep. She's absolutely the best.

The Nursery Adventure

Well, it's officially begun: the big push to finish Griffin's room before he arrives. As you may or may not know, the nursery is being kept a surprise from me. Mombi has taken it on as her special project, and I won't get to see it until it's done. My Mom came over yesterday, and she and Mombi spent several hours in Griffin's room planning things out. Then, they went shopping. They both seem very excited about it, and I can't wait to see what they're up to!

Stage 1, apparently, is to weatherproof our small back porch as much as possible, so that Mombi can work out there. I also know that there will be a significant amount of sanding involved, as well as some painting. Other than that, the only other clue I have is that it's "something I would never expect." Based on that, I did find it necessary to confirm that they haven't decided to switch the theme to Nascar. Thankfully, no. I'll keep you posted of any new developments!

On Heartburn

Heartburn, how I loathe you, nightly,
when you make me sleep, uprightly.

Slowing Down

Ugh. Today, the question from everyone was "Are you feeling OK?"

With exactly 8 weeks until my due date, I'm starting to move slower, and more carefully. My bladder requires special coddling in order to get from place to place without staging a demonstration. My pelvic floor is aching. Heartburn makes breathing uncomfortable. Overheating is inevitable. And my left foot has started rubbing against the top of my most comfortable shoes, so I'm limping a bit.

Other than all that, though, I feel great! I just love thinking about what's coming, and every twinge and ache reminds me of the amazingness that's happening inside. Add to that how incredible Mombi is, and how much I'm enjoying the extra closeness that this experience has brought us. She's been unfailingly supportive and positive, and we're having a blast imagining life with Griffin.

Time goes weird again

Just when I think that things are moving quickly again, I realize for the umpteenth time just how long we still have to go. Last night I actually dreamt that I was ready to give birth and then realized that I still had to wait two months. And that's exactly how it feels. I feel big, Griffin feels strong, and psychologically I think that all three of us are ready. I have to consciously remind myself that I really don't want him to come this early, that it would be a hard time for all of us.

There's still much to do. The invite went out at work today for my shower, and get this... there are 40 people invited so far, and it's still growing! The person who is organizing it had to choose the date based partially on when she could get the largest training room in the building. I feel so special!!! I had a hunch that it was going to be big last week when she asked me to add to my registry, but I'm totally in awe. I gave her all the details for the cloth diapering stuff we want, in case people want to pool funds to get some for us. How cool would that be? Luckily I was included on the meeting invite, so I don't have to pretend not to know about it. And it's long enough away that I'll have a couple weekends to clean out the car!

I also still have to get everything set for the temp who will be handling my job while I'm out on leave. I've scheduled myself for an hour per day T/W/Th from now until she starts working with me in mid-March, so that I can get things all organized and written out. I've also started saying "no" to extra projects that I know will take a lot of time and may extend beyond when I have to leave. So on that level, I guess I'm finally thinking in terms of it being a short period of time until Griffin comes.

It reminds me a lot of moving to a new home. There's only so much you can do ahead of time, and there's the rush at the end that you know is coming but there's nothing you can do to spread it out or prepare ahead of time. For us, the true rush will start after the shower is done. Until then, it's a matter of staying as comfortable as possible, being patient, and finding as many positive distractions as possible!

When I start thinking that I still have a long long time to wait, I just think of all my internet friends and their new babies. The little ones are all so old already! When I remember that, I realize that there's really no time at all between now and then.

But then I think, "what if I'm a couple weeks late?" And on and on it goes, until I either fall asleep, get hungry, or find myself distracted by the rapid and impressive distortions of my abdomen.

Too good not to share.

There are some great web sites out there for parents. Here's one of my favorites: http://www.parenthacks.com/ There are reviews of particularly good products, but the majority of the site is actually suggestions sent in by parents for ways to do things easier or better, with comments from other parents. I just visited it for the first time in a while, and read that breast milk is a very good cure for eye infections. Who knew? What a great website.

What parenting sites do you really like?

In other random web news, we are now registered at Target and Babys R Us. If you know my legal name or Mombi's, you can look us up. If you don't know our true names but are longing to buy us something, let us know. We're nowhere near as stocked as some of our internet friends (we haven't even been inside a baby store since we got pregnant) but due to some very generous gifts from friends and family, we already have much of what we need.

So Much Love!

This picture was taken a few years ago, when Mombi worked at a daycare in Denver. She had some crazy dreads at the time, so for "silly hair day" on Valentine's day, she tucked them under this black wig and a shocking pink bandana. She bucked the system and their "no hats" policy daily with her crazy bandanas. (I think she had every style they sold at the local craft store!) The kids absolutely loved her. This is one of my favorite pictures of her, because it shows her phenomenal smile and goofy sense of humor.


I try to express daily to Mombi just how much I love and adore her. I talk about her so much at work that when she stops by the lobby of my office building to meet me for something, people entering/exiting recognize her from the photo on my desk (not this one), address her by name, and ask how she's doing. She's my best friend and the greatest romance I've ever had. She has an amazing sense of humor and comic timing. (We laugh together a lot!) I love the way her mind puts things together in unexpected ways. She's constantly doing sweet things for me. She has a great smile, gorgeous eyes, and naturally perfect eyebrows. She's a great storyteller. She's amazing with kids. Heck, she's amazing with adults.

I could go on for much much longer, but I'm sure that we'll all have an overdose of "love blogs" today. So I'll just say that (as my little sister puts it) I get all warm and squishy inside when I think about the fact that next year it will be all three of us together for Valentine's Day.

I love you, Mombi!!!

.75 is a Huge Number

Wow, we're 3/4 of the way through this pregnancy! It's really amazing to realize how quickly the time has gone by.

This morning I was woken at 3:30 by my cat flopping down in the hammock made by my belly and my body pillow, and Griffin promptly attempting to kick her back off again. The cat, of course, was not disturbed in the least, so it was up to me to shift her once it got uncomfortable. That adventure over, I stayed awake for another hour or so, just playing with Griffin and trying to find a comfortable position.

It struck me all at once that I soon won't have him thumping and poking and wiggling and tickling inside me any more, and it made me rather sad. Not sad enough to wish he'd stay in there longer, mind you, but prematurely remeniscent none the less.

Full Body Pregnancy Simulator (with storage case)

Ever wonder how L&D nurses and OBs get their first practice? I stumbled across this product while looking for images of fetal location during development.



Check it out: Life Simulation Model

Tracking Time

Time keeps slipping by. It's so stealthy these days that I only really notice it when I realize that a couple of days have gone by since my last blog post. Part of the reason for this, I'm sure, is that there isn't a whole lot going on. Yesterday's big adventure was that I finally broke down and took my flex spending card to CVS and bought a good humidifier. Our apartment's air has been so dry lately that Mombi and I both have ridiculously dry skin, and we zap the animals any time we try to pet them. Not so good, especially when you consider that babies are extra-prone to dry skin anyway. So, I went out and got this:



It's a Vicks V4500 Filterless Humidifier. I was going to get a warm mist humidifier because of the bacteria/filter factor associated with the cool mist ones, but then I found this one at the store. It's so fabulously sturdy that I'm not worried about us crunching it in the middle of the night and causing an electrical problem, like I would be with the typical warm mist version. And it only requires the occasional rinse with vinegar and then bleach to keep it nice and clean. We've had it going since last night, and even after just a few hours the air in the apartment already felt much better. Eventually when we get back to a decent humidity level, we can start using the humidistat feature to monitor the moisture in the air. For now, though, we just know we need MORE!

The Power of Suggestion

I dreamt that I fell asleep while reading a book about giving birth naturally without discomfort. In my dream I realized that I could feel griffin's head way down in my abdomen, and that I could actually feel his little ears quite perfectly through my skin. It was amazing! So I played with his (very cute) ears for a while, just rubbing them and talking to him, and eventually I woke up, or so I thought. My mind messes with me this way quite often when I'm sleeping, but I never manage to catch on while it's happening.

So I was laying there, still dreaming but thinking I was awake, thinking how sad it was that I couldn't actually feel him, that it had clearly just been a dream, when I reached down and discovered that (wow!) I really could feel him! I realized then, though, that I'd never felt him nearly so low, and started to wonder if perhaps I was going to have a very early baby. After massaging his ears for a while to reassure him that we'd both be fine and that we should relax and let things happen, I decided to get up and go to the bathroom.

I stood up and found that I was leaking fluid. Luckily my Mom and a random female cousin/aunt who doesn't really exist were standing in the hallway outside my room. Now at this point, a truly conscious me would probably stop in her tracks and wonder why I was in my childhood home, and who this other female was. But in my dream (since I clearly was still dreaming) I thought nothing of it.

I walked over to them, and calmly told my mom that I thought that I might be having an early baby. She calmly said something like "oh shit, and with company here" and suggested that I should go into the bathroom and check to see if it really was amniotic fluid. In order to get into the bathroom, I had to unplug a cord that they had just rigged across the hallway in order to blow cold night air in to where the aunt/cousin was staying. This, of course, because in that house when I was younger we did not have air conditioning. It was installed just before we left Michigan and moved to TN.

Anyway, I went into the bathroom, and discovered that yes, indeed, he was coming down already and my water had broken. I was surprised, of course, but very calm, and attributed it all to the relaxed anticipation that I was feeling as a result of the book on birthing in comfort. I thought to myself that the power of suggestion truly was very strong, and woke up (this time for real) feeling very happy and secure.

No, I can't massage Griffin's ears. But I'm looking forward to the day when I can. For now, I'm going to make myself a cheese sandwich and go back to bed.

29 Week Appointment

I had an appointment with my OB this morning (yesterday morning, technically,) and things look great. My glucose test came back with a score of 73mg/dL, which I'm told is awesome, and my blood pressure/heart rate remain nice and low and steady, so it looks like I'm doing well. I also got the OK to add Pepcid AC to my nightly routine to help out with the acid reflux problems, and I've got the "certificate of medical necessity" so that I can get a prenatal massage. I'm scheduled for 75 minutes on Saturday, and I can't wait!

Griffin is also doing well, with a heart rate of 147. He's currently head down, and the tickling I've been feeling in my very low middle abdomen has been "diagnosed" as him snuggling in with his head. What I'm feeling are his ears and nose as he wiggles his head back and forth. Based on that, I can now also identify which sensations are most likely his hands, and which are his knees and feet.

Mombi, of course, is phenomenal. Her birthday was on the 31st, and we'll be celebrating it on Saturday by going out to eat with my parents. We're also getting an AWESOME gift from them, which will have its own post later!

What it's all about

Check out this kid I found on You Tube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-uZN6LxIm8

I felt like looking at happy babies, so I headed over to You Tube to do some browsing. I came across this video of a seven-day-old, and thought it well worth sharing. What a cute baby! There's so much to look forward to.

Aargh! My BAAAACK!!!!

I go to the chiropractor once every other week and they help a lot, but my back is still killing me. I got my 2007 flex spending debit card in the mail yesterday, though, and let me tell you, I'm heading to the spa for a prenatal massage as soon as I get it cleared with my OB! My ribs have stretched out to the point that they're starting to ache on the sides, not just where they meet my spine. My shoulder blades are lifted off my back by knotted muscles, my hips are aching, and if it weren't for the fact that I'm having a great time being pregnant, I might give in to the urge to complain about it all.

Just hanging out.

Not much to report these days. This weekend I caught up on laundry over at my parents' place. I read a book. I'm reading another. We're waiting for the pizza delivery guy to get here.

Pining for the Craftmatic

OK, this looks a bit too propped up:



You know the commercial for the craftmatic adjustable bed, where the top and bottom fold up and back so quickly that you get pains just watching it? There are times when one of those beds actually starts to look like a good idea. I've had so much trouble with heartburn and acid lately that once every couple days I'll be woken up by a coughing fit resulting from hiccuping something toxic in my sleep. Only two things seem to help: lots of Rolaids, and propping myself up on lots of pillows so that my head, knees and right side are all elevated. I sleep like that for a few hours, but then it all gets pulled apart when I want to roll onto my right side for a while, and I'm back where I started. On the plus side, I can rationalize that I probably had to wake up to use the bathroom, anyway, so it's no big deal to make the nest again while I'm up.

Advice from Mom

As a mother of four, my mom has been an incredible resource for me during my pregnancy. She's going to be at the delivery as our "doula" to support Mombi and me. As a woman who gave birth naturally four times and descibes it as "fascinating," she's exactly the sort of person I want to have around.

Yesteday I mentioned to her that I'll have my glucose test this afternoon. Her response? "Don't drink a chocolate shake on the way there; they'll make you come back later." She didn't say which of us she did that with, but I thought it was cool that she mentioned it just in case. She's been there, done that, and is ready to save me the extra trip. Thanks, mom!

A Good Day

Today was a good day. Not for any particular event or occasion, but just because it felt good. Sometimes it's nice to be reminded that all of the amazing things that are happening inside me are just that... amazing. Griffin spent most of the day popping popcorn (or something that feels just like that) in my lower belly. He played during my meetings, he played while I was working at the computer. He's bouncing around right now. He's so cool.

Randomness

It's been a while since I had a totally random and disjointed post, so I suppose I'm due for one.

My belly is starting to get sore. It just plain aches. Even when Griffin isn't kickboxing, it just feels like it's heavier than it was, even though it doesn't seem to be getting much bigger lately. My back is keeping my belly company in its discomfort. When I got to the second trimester and started feeling so much better, I focussed on how it was supposed to be the most comfortable trimester, but I overlooked the fact that that meant the third trimester would probably be significantly less comfortable. I'm grunting and groaning even more than previously. Mombi actually brought out a walking stick to help me pry myself off the couch whenever I need to get up.

OK, enough with the complaining for a while. There's so much fun stuff going on, and I'd much rather think about that! People are starting to ask where we're registered and when I plan to stop working. People grin at me (us) wherever we go. I've probably found every reflective vertical surface around my office, and I can't help scoping out my belly in each of them as I pass by. Friends are offering their old baby gear, and it's actually close enough to time that we can accept.

Best of all, it's only 3 months from now that I'll be able to see Mombi holding Griffin. Have I ever told you how amazing she is with kids? Ever since I can remember, I've been awed and teary-eyed whenever I've had the chance to see her interact with kids. She just has a way with them. They gravitate to her. She is going to be such an amazing mom! Not only is she lots of fun, but she manages to include learning in all the games she makes up when playing with them. It's going to be incredible watching them together. Heck, it's already fun! When she plays with him and talks to him in my belly, I can't help but giggle and grin. Griffin likes it, too!

The Shiatsu Kid (edited for clarity)

I think Griffin might actually be one of these...



It's one of those "kneeding fingers" neck massagers. I swear there's one in my abdomen trying to get out!

27 Weeks Down! One Trimester to Go!

Wow, here we are already. Looking pregnant, feeling pregnant... Griffin moves around so often that he already seems like a fully grown baby that's just hanging out and staying cozy. Although, of course, I suppose he can't be that cozy if he keeps trying to expand his living room out in each direction.

There hasn't been much to report on lately. I've been feeling a little bit of woozy in the mornings again, but I've discovered that the cranberry apple tea at work that used to be so ridiculously tart is now perfect with just the tiniest bit of sugar, and it seems to put the woozies to rest by 9 each morning. I'm finally wearing full belly maternity jeans, and they feel SOOOO good! Unfortunately I only have one pair that fits, but luckily I have a LOT of different shirts to wear with them.

Mombi remains incredible. I've been having a big sob fest once every week or two, usually when I run out of energy too early in the day and come home grumpy from work. She rubs my back and holds me and lets me get snot all over her, and eventually we are laughing together again. I ask you: If that isn't the definition of a great marriage, what is?

We're still fiddling around a bit with our registry on Target (Shame on BabyCenter for taking theirs away right when I wanted it!) although I think the important stuff is all on there now. We still need more diapers, of course, and the basic feeding and maintenance stuff, but the big one for us is this:

We love that the bassinet comes out and sits on its own stand (which can be either stationary or rocking). It's perfect for moving around the house with us, and we're not planning to have a separate changing table other than the one that is part of this play yard. And, of course, it's darned cute!

Snow! Somewhere else!

Everyone had such pretty snow pictures to post today, but we had no snow here, and it's dark out now. Still, I hate to miss the opportunity for a theme post, so here's a photo of the current view from our porch:


That's a four second exposure so you could see something other than a black rectangle. The blur is from the wind. It's COLD out there!

Sometimes a Gal's Got to Sculpt

I've been on a creativity kick the past week or so, and thought I'd share what I've been up to. First, I decided that I wanted a meditation focus for during labor. I have a small metal goddess figure that Mombi bought me a year or so ago that I've been carrying around with me, and I'll definitely have that with me at the hospital, but I also wanted something made especially for the occasion. So, I made myself a happy budda baby. I'm hoping that holding the baby gently during labor will help me to relax and release Griffin into the world. I still need to clean it up a bit, and carve in the toenails, etc. I may also decide to add some sort of pattern or texture on his clothes, I'm not sure yet.

Once I had the little budda ready to go, I decided to make Griffin some belly puppets. The duckies were cute, but just not very personal. So I thought about what a 6 month old fetus might like to play with, and decided that I'd make representations of the family that's waiting for him on the outside. So here we are! The cat is Basil, and the dog's name is Orange (full name Orange Nehi). Mombi's the one with the backwards cap (it's a black leather Harley biker cap,) and I'm the one with the blue shirt and short hair. I'm really bad at doing cartoon-ish people, and I definitely can't do realistic animals, so that's why we ended up without faces. Mombi says we look like pez dispensers. As soon as I figure out the best way to attach their bases to a belly band, I'll post some footage of Griffin playing wth them.

Time

When time can simultaneously pass so quickly yet so slowly, it's difficult to believe that it is a constant thing that can be monitored by something as simple as a clock.

Imagining how the next three months will pass is even more of a stretch.

Online friends I remember as TTC are now having their babies... time passes so fast!

I'm only 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy... time passes so slowly.

I only have three months to go... time passes so quickly!

Dreaming with Deadlines

"Realistic" dreams while pregnant crack me up. There I'll be chatting to someone or other, and my dream self will feel the need to tell them that I'm X weeks pregnant. Then I'll gesture down to my belly, which is flawlessly sized exactly as my physical one is currently. Or, someone will try to plan to do something with me for late April. "Sorry," I'll say in my dream, "but Griffin's due on the 19th so I'd be surprised if I am able to make it to that."

Lest you determine that I have a very literal mind, the same subconscious produces dreams in which I try to fit a cloth diaper on a little Griffin the size of a peanut.

100 posts. 100 days to go!

This is post #101 on our blog, and we have 100 days to go until Griffin's EDD. Wow!

It really is amazing. What is? Heck, all of it! The whole crazy concept. Conception, fetal development, labor, birth, raising a child. All the options and choices that are part of preparation for a new baby. And somehow it all manages to seem totally normal most of the time.

Today my ticker says "brain waves will start in the next few days." Holy cow! Our kid will have his very own brain waves! How does this happen? What triggers it to start? Does that mean that he'll now start deciding where/when/whether to kick/punch/head butt/barrel roll? My own feeble brain waves are stunned by the contemplation of all that's happening in our kid's world right now.

Random illness at work

Well, I guess it had to happen eventually. I got to use my trash can for something other than office trash.

I don't know what happened. I felt fine when I got to work, but a couple minutes after I sat down I suddenly felt queasy, then all hot and flushed. It got so bad that I was actually down on the floor on my elbows and knees to help my circulation, because I couldn't bend over enough to get my head between my knees while sitting. I eventually recovered enough to make it down the hall to the break room to get some ice, which helped a lot. I sipped on some organic pear juice when I got back to my desk, and chalked it all up to a random drop in blood pressure. Maybe Griffin was hanging around on my vena cava. Who knows?

15 minutes later I was feeling much better, and decided to try some food. I'd brought some Coconut Ginger Thai noodles and some Zatarains red beans and rice. (Yeah, I know, random. But since I have two small lunches instead of one big one, why not mix it up?) Anyway, I chose the Zatarains. 1/3 of the way through, I suddenly felt full-blown nausea. Luckily, my trash can was handy and had a fresh liner in it.

I still don't know what happened. Maybe it was blood pressure, or maybe the tiny bit of fruit cake I decided to try this morning before I left for work reacted with the Rolaids I took when I got to my desk. Or maybe it was just a random hormone thing. If it happens again, I'll call the doctor. Otherwise, I'll just chalk it up to one more strange pregnancy phehomenon.

Grocery Shopping While Pregnant

Have you ever had the experience of being in line at a grocery store, and looking at the purchases of the person ahead of you in line, and thinking "Huh, I had no idea you could buy that here." I'd guess that the average person only really sees 1/4 to 1/2 of the items in the store. We skip entire sections, and don't even glance at the stuff that doesn't look familiar.

When you're pregnant and grocery shopping, and even more so when you're hungry at the time, you end up buying someone else's cart of food. Things end up in there that you never would have seen or thought to buy otherwise. An example: Last night for dinner I had apple gorgonzola pizza. No kidding. And where did I find such a crazy thing? In the frozen pizza section of the local Kroger. For those of you out west, that's King Sooper. It was even the store brand, "Private Selections." I was supposed to get frozen pizza for dinner. Of all the options, the only one that looked really good was apple gorgonzola.

Mombi elected to have something else.

25 Week Appointment

I had my monthly appointment with the OB this morning, and everything is looking good. My bloodpressure is great, and my uterus is growing right on target. Griffin's heartrate is 143bpm, and once again he entertained us by kicking the doplar.

I also had a fun conversation with the RN about cloth diapers. She had no idea that they still existed, and was very intrigued when I was telling her about how far they've come. She told me about how much she loved using cloth for her two boys (who are now in their late 30's) and how much healthier she thinks they are for babies. I've decided to bring one of my bumGenius diapers to my next appointment to show her.

The only news I wasn't thrilled with was that I managed to gain another 10 lbs this month. I'm not surprised, since I haven't been making any effort to curb my intake, but it was still disconcerting to see the scale read over 200 lbs for the first time in my life. Dr. P said that as long as I don't gain more than another 20 or so, she'll be satisfied. Which is cool with me, since I had no intentions to try to hold my weight down during this pregnancy, anyway.

So what's next? Well, I have a glucose test in three weeks, and my next OB appointment in four. After that I'm guessing that we'll be switching to a two week schedule for check-ups. Fun fun!

I love being pregnant.

Today I'm 25 weeks pregnant.

OK, so it can be uncomfortable and sometimes I'm a total wreck, but overall it's a fabulous experience being in Month 6.

The parts I could most do without:
1. Comments on what I'm eating. Yes, it's cold pizza for breakfast. So?
2. Comments on my expanding hips/thighs/nose/cheeks/etc. Yes, I've noticed it too.
3. Karate chops to the bladder. No less painful than a fierce bellybutton poke from the outside, an with much worse consequences.
4. Crushed digestive system. There's a reason it's the size and shape that it usually is, not mashed as it is now. And it's only going to get tighter in there.
5. Cycle back to #1 on this list, and you now have an answer to that question.

The parts I like the best:
1. The closeness and joy it brings to Mombi and me.
2. The little flutters that remind me that we're about to finally have a baby.
3. Catching people checking out my belly.
4. Being able to pick out a fabulous outfit for $10, even if it's WAY too small for me.

Griffin says Happy Holidays!

Here's a video of griffin playing with the duckies he got for Christmas!

Griffin's first puppet show.

First Tour of L&D

I was at the hospital this morning for a standard blood draw, and decided to wander through the Labor & Delivery area. The nurses on duty were fabulous. One of them gave me a short tour and a stack of information about their policies, and everything looks good. The nurse was a bit confused when I asked her how they deal with excessive volume. I'm sure I'll be vocalizing quite a bit! I have no intention to curb it for their sakes, so I just hope they'll take it gracefully.

:)

How ya doing?

It's an innocuous enough question, one that Americans give each other every day of the year. The expected reply is generally something to the effect of "great, how are you?"

This doesn't work so well when you're pregnant. And it's a question that pregnant (particularly showing) women hear often. OK, constantly. I must have had 10-15 different people yesterday pass me in the hall at work and as how I was feeling, how I was doing, how I'd been lately... all of them women, and all of them clearly referring to my ever-growing baby boy belly bump.

Now I appreciate that they want to acknowledge my pregnancy and say hello, but this does create a bit of an awkward situation. When you both know that what they really mean is "How are you doing with your pregnancy?" it just doesn't sound right to answer "Great, how are you?"

Nerves

I've never been worried about the pain aspect, since I have a high pain tolerance. But I've decided that it's time to acknowledge that yes, indeed, there are parts of giving birth that cause me concern. There are two things about giving birth that make me nervous and worried:


Tension. I've never been good at relaxing my body. Mombi can make me go totally limp just by rubbing the bridge of my nose, though, so hopefully together we can manage to stay relaxed and loose.

Stamina. I'm afraid I'll get tired out and not be able to finish. What if I get tired out and just can't push?

I'm shifting into preparation mode now so I can be ready then. I'm reading the book "Birthing from Within" and it has a lot of great information in it on how to relax. I'm also starting to swim more frequently, which will hopefully help me to build up my core muscles, which will help with strength/stamina.

About Weirdness

Meg asked me to post some more detail about the various weirdnesses of being pregnant. In no particular order, here are a few of the weirdnesses I've experienced. I've skipped the basic stuff that everyone knows about, like having to pee every 15 minutes.

Please, feel free to add your own in the comments section.

1. Feeling the baby moving. People describe it as feeling like butterfly flutters or gas bubbles. To me, it definitely feels more like muscle twitches. Have you ever had a twitch in your eyelid or some other muscle that was tired out? Imagine that sensation in your lower abdomen, and that's pretty much exactly how it feels, especially for the first few weeks that you can feel it. Griffin is now starting to pack a bit more punch, but most of his little motions still feel like that. Now, though, he's starting to direct his little spasms down at my bladder or up at my diaphram, so that's a whole new level of weirdness to consider.

2. Twinges. Everywhere. And according to Mombi, I make some pretty interesting faces.

3. Emotions. I've done my fair share of dealing with depression, ADD, etc. But this random crying stuff, especially when I can't even find a negative trigger as a source, is downright kooky. Luckily, Mombi has a good sense of humor about it and she usually monologues on the importance of releasing toxins until either I run out of steam and pull myself together, or she convinces me to let her turn on a Harry Potter audio book and tuck me in for a nap. (Random fact: we've fallen asleep to Harry Potter nearly every night for the past 2+ years. I have a feeling that, at birth, Griffin will recognize three voices. Mine, Mombi's, and Jim Dale's.)

4. Stretching. Before becoming pregnant, I thought of it as being a bit like being a Transformer (TM). My body is designed to do this, right? So like a Transformer, I figured that some parts would flip up, some would flip down, some would pop out, and voila, the space would be there. Not so. Yes, things stretch and/or shift. But only when they have to. "Have to" means that there's something pushing on them too hard for them to resist. For example, I am now dealing with a back that hurts precisely where my floating ribs connect to my spine. They are floating higher and wider day by day, which means that all the connections have to shift. Similar events are occuring in my hips and among my internal organs. My abdominal musles are even starting to separate down the front of my belly. You've seen those drawings of where your organs go when you're pregnant? Honey, it's one thing to see the picture as a passive audience. Once you're experiencing it, those pictures get pretty scary. Looking at photos of beautiful full-term bellies? Terrifying!

5. Intense ambivalance. Sometimes, every food you hear mentioned sounds perfect. Other times, the name of the food sounds great, but when you think about it, you really have no interest in eating it. Other foods you can't stand the thought of, and then crave intensely as soon as they are no longer available. And it often seems that the hungrier you are, the more you hate the idea of food because you just know that it'll be impossible to be satisfied.

6. Dreams. See previous posts.

7. Society. Am I the only one who finds it odd when Co-workers call me Mommy or call me by my kid's name while looking at my belly? It doesn't bother me, but still, it's definitely in the "weirdness" category.

8. Time. It's worse than the week before a big vacation. Time goes so quickly, and so slowly. There's so much to think about and do, and yet there's nothing new to think about after a while, and not much you are "allowed" do.

All done!

Well, my Solstice gifts for Mombi are all wrapped and under the Christmas tree. Now comes the hard part... trying to resist inviting her to open them right away! I'll be fairly free of temptation until she gets hers for me wrapped, but after that we're doomed!

Summary

Being pregnant feels weirder than I ever could have imagined.

What a Great Weekend

I had such a fun weekend. I did a bunch of really fun holiday shopping, we finally got our tree up, my energy level is up and my emotional state is stable. I even finally got the haircut I've been needing for three months now. This is shaping up to be a great holiday week! I'll be working for the next two days, and then I'll have two days off to celebrate the solstice with Mombi. Then one more day at work, and three more off!

My family will be celebrating Christmas at my parents' house this coming Saturday, and that's always a lot of fun. My family all gets along very well, and we have a great time together. This year should be no exception. So far all the traditions have been adhered to. My mom has already declaired that this is the year that there will be less under the tree (she tends to go overboard,) and everyone will be in town, with the exception of my sister Amy's significant other.

The only tradition that won't be happening this year is that we won't all be spending the night at my parents' place the night before, since there won't be enough beds for all of us this year. That's fine, though, because it means we can leave the dog home and she won't be in the way while we're making a mess in the living room. It also means that I won't have to haul all my pillows over there. They'd fill up the trunk of our car, and we wouldn't have room for presents!

Griffin is now easily felt from the outside, so I have a feeling that some of the family (particularly my sister Amy) will be spending a lot of time communing with the kiddo. Which is fine with me! I totally get a kick out of it. Pun not intended, but I do love feeling it from the inside when Griffin kicks and it makes people giggle or grin. And I'm all about providing entertainment when I don't have to do anything other than lean back and relax.

He has a name!

We're delighted to announce that we've settled on a name for Skippy. Our little boy will enter the world as Griffin Alexander. We had a different name in mind, but we spotted the name "Griffin" on a kid's drawing while we were waiting to vote at an elementary school, and discovered that we both really liked the name. It took a while to find the right middle name to go with it, but we really like the result. It's a name that could sound equally appropriate for a business man or a hippie nature boy, or anyone inbetween.

So yeah, Griffin has a name. He also has a nice large home that rests directly on my bladder. Kegels don't seem to be helping at all. And I'm not even five months pregnant yet! I'm in such trouble. Any advice on how to keep things under control?

Getting a Nice Stretch

Life is good. There really isn't much to report on the pregnancy front, but we're having fun anticipating having a little baby boy in the house. It's all so exciting just to contemplate. Skippy is moving so much now that I feel him consistently throughout my waking hours. Mombi somehow always knows just where to put her hand to feel the next big kick. She and Skippy are going to be such a duo!

Apparently he's quite active during my sleep, too: Last night I dreampt that he gave a huge kick and stretched out to full length, and my belly took on the shape of his front side, all the way from his profile on my left side to his feet popping out on my right. Then he decided (in my dream) that he wanted to come out and hang around with us for a while, and suddenly he was there, perfectly formed and fully grown and super cute. He suffered his first "mommies don't know everything" disillusionment almost immediately, though, when we told him that we had no idea how to get him back inside me. Still, his immediate needs were met (he claimed to have come out because he was hungry) and it was a very happy visit all around. What a good baby we have!

Our Active Child

We had a check-up this morning (21 weeks, wow!) and Skippy was a very active little boy! He kept squirming around and kicking the doplar monitor thingy. His heart rate was 155, my BP is nice and low, and everything is looking good!

Time sure flies...

I've been such a neglectful blogger lately. Busy at work, worn out by the time I get home... there just isn't enough time for everything, and work and sleep usually win.

Life is good. Skippy is happily pinging away at my lower abdomen for a good portion of each day, so that's very cool. It's still more like little muscle twitches than heavy duty thumps, so it's a pleasant accompaniment to my daily routine. Energy level and all that are good, although I don't know how I'll get done all the things I want to do before Christmas. It's just so satisfying to crash on the couch as soon as I get home each day!

How safe is your baby right now?

A study looked at the cord blood for 10 random US babies, and found an average of 200 industrial chemicals and polutants per baby. At birth, these kids already had major toxins in their bodies. Check out this website, and look up the skin/hair/etc products you use:

http://www.ewg.org/reports/skindeep2/

If you look at nothing else, check out the list of the most dangerous (i.e. toxic) baby washes. Johnson & Johnson and Gerber both have products right up there at the top. We sure won't be using them!!!!!

And surprise surprise, almost all of the stuff in the shower at our place contains chemicals that can cause cancer, developmental problems, etc. I guess that's what we get for shopping based on packaging and fake fragrance.

I'm going shopping for new shampoo tomorrow. Hey, I've missed reading the labels on Dr. Bronner's anyway.

20 Weeks and 2 Days Down, 138 Days to Go!

Wow, we're over halfway there. Of course that's counting the first two weeks when I was on a bunch of hormones, and assuming that I won't be significantly late delivering, which I very well may be. Still, the magical 20 weeks has been achieved.

It really is amazing how much the sensation of pregnancy can change from week to week and month to month. I can still remember how amazingly exhausted I was for the first few months, and the mild nausea I felt constantly. Those are gone now apart from the occasional gag reflex due to smells. Currently the main "symptoms" are: tickling from the boy as he thumps the sides of his swimming pool, and continued nightly dreams involving food. It doesn't seem to make any difference what type of dream it is, my subconscious manages to get food in there somewhere.

Mombi bought me some fabulous flannel pajamas with a retro snowflake pattern in red and lime green, so I'm sitting pretty. And they've got plenty of room for a growing belly, so I'll probably be wearing these very frequently until April at least!

One of Life's Great Mysteries

When you have a cold, you may find that there's nothing you can do to clear your nose so you can breathe through it. However, if you intentionally "plug" your nose so you won't smell something, it suddenly starts to run.

What crazy function is that supposed to serve?

Oxygen tent, please.

Stuffy-head colds are no fun. Stuffy head colds when you're already functioning with a semi-compressed set of lungs is even worse.

I'm getting chapped lips from walking around the office with my mouth hanging open so I can breathe. And then people stop me to ask if I'm OK, so I have to explain, and that restricts my O2 consumption even more. Bah.

Love those pregnancy hormones.

On my morning and afternoon commutes, I like to listen to NPR (National Public Radio.) I'm an addict. I love the commentaries, I appreciate the news, and the quirky stories make me smile. Except.... when I'm having a pregnancy hormone morning. Often, by the time I realize it, it's too late.

For example, this morning. I'm driving along, traffic isn't too bad, I'm running on time, and the radio isn't telling me anything more hideous than normal. I'm doing just fine. Then, a story comes on about the creation of the Charlie Brown Christmas special. I start tearing up, listening to how hard the creators pushed to get the music they believed in, when the network thought that jazz and christmas music couldn't mix. Luckily, I pulled in to a parking spot at work just as the children's choir number started. As it was, it only took me a moment to compose myself before I headed into the building. If I'd actually listened to those kids singing, there's no telling what could have happened.

When the story first started, I had every intention of watching it on TV tonight. Now? Let's just say I'll take the story as fair warning, and watch something safe like CSI.

So Many New Ideas

Wow, a little boy. We're so excited, and there's so much for us to learn! The last time I did any regular diapering of a boy baby was probably when I was in around 8th grade. That was quite a while ago! Mombi has done some more recently than that, but not much.

We've got some of the big decisions out of the way already, such as whether or not we're going to have the kid circumcised and what his name will be. The fact that the kid will have Mombi's last name popped out while I was talking to my maternal grandmother on the phone Thanksgiving. That was an interesting bit of conversation, let me tell you. She's been studiously glazing over the fact that Mombi and I are a couple for several years now. We've known that it would come down to this as far as whether she'll "get it" and acknowledge our relationship or not. We'll see how it goes. So far, all she's said (to my mom, after she got off the phone with me) is something about "so many new ideas to get used to" which could mean just about anything. When it comes down to it, though, babies are babies and kids are kids, and I know our family will get a warm welcome whenever we visit them (9 hours away).

There's still so much to figure out before he arrives, and even more after... It was quite a little mind-opener when Mombi pointed out that we'll have to find a sitter for the next Harry Potter movie!

Lots of Fun with Picture Pages

Well, it's a good thing we're not overly fond of pink. Looks like Mombi and I will soon have a boy in the house!

The sonogram tech actually put an arrow on the second image (removed for his future privacy) to point out the "key feature." I thought that was going a bit far for a public posting, though! Seriously, could it be any more obvious? (The baby's butt is backed up against the left edge of the sonogram image area, and he's "pointing" out into the amniotic fluid.)

Everything Looks Great!

Well, we're back home, exhausted from excitement and lack of sleep, but still in high spirits. The sonogram was awesome, and I had just as much fun watching the faces of my family members as I did watching the monitor. I need a nap now, though. More details later, when I have the energy to scan pics and such.

;)

Anticipation

This is so much worse than the first day of school ever was. Here I am, awake at 1:30AM, with nothing more productive to do than some lower belly prep work. If that doesn't get me back to sleep, I may resort to a trip to wallyworld to buy the VHS tape for the sonogram. Mombi, the night owl, is actually in bed. Go fig.

Ping! Ping!

That's the feeling of Skippy hanging out right beneath the wasteband of my preggo pants, which never stay all the way up, but never quite fall off. I feel like a pregnant skater. Maybe once I finish with them I'll find a young punk to give them to. I'm sure the gratitude will be overwhelming.

Tomorrow is the big day! I don't know which excites Mombi more, the fact that we'll know if we're going to be living with a boy or girl for the next 18+ years, or that she can finally stop calling the kid "skippy." Me, I'm just hoping that everything looks right on the screen!

The Cat has Spoken

Yesterday morning, our cat Basil made her prediction on Skippy's sex. As I was browsing a page of posts on a message board, she casually walked across the laptop. As she did, she precisely highlighted a single word. That word happens to be the first name we picked out for Skippy if Skippy is indeed a "she."

Yes, cats walk on keyboards all the time. but when was the last time you saw one move a mouse to a particular spot, then press down the mouse button while sliding the cursor over a single word, then let go of the mouse button before stepping off the computer? I ask you.

If she's right, she'll be gloating for months.

Things are moving...

...both figuratively and literally!

Mombi and I have both felt Skippy moving, so there's something new to think about, at least. Mainly, it's just a waiting time now until next Wednesday when we will (hopefully) find out if we're having a boy or a girl. It'll be standing-room-only in the sonogram room, since my mom and sister are going to be there for it along with Mombi and me.

I think we've finally got our child's potential names decided, so that's a plus. No decision yet on when we'll tell the world, though, since we may change our minds again in the next five months. I doubt it, but then again I thought we had them decided for sure before I even got pregnant, and they're totally different now than they were then.

So once we know the answer to the girl/boy question, that'll give us a much stronger basis for visualizing and imagining what the future will hold. Until then, there's not much we can do to prepare other than talk to my belly (or dance with it, in Mombi's case) and stay well rested and fed.

Speaking of which, the food dreams continue. Last night I drempt that I was helping to clean up after a huge corporate potluck. (For those of you who know where I work, the one I was dreaming about was not the same as the one we had on Thursday!) Anyway, I got there just as it was time to clean up, and so I was stuffing my pockets and loading my arms with all the remaining food that I could carry, including a bunch of fancy european chocolate that was melted in its wrappers because someone had set it out right next to the coffee maker. That was some of the saddest ferero rocher chocolate I've ever seen. The ones in those triangle packages looked ok, of course, but I'm sure they were mush inside, too.

For some reason there was also an entire bushel basket and a half of blueberries there, but the person in charge wouldn't let me have any of them. Not even a single berry. Ah, well. I'll get some one of these days. Probaby frozen, but that's OK by me. I love blueberries.

Congratulations!

Congratulations to Sarah and BB and their beautiful baby boy, Nicholas Leander!

HOLY COW!

OK, just felt the baby for the first time for sure, not just little flutters that could be gas or could be kid. WOW, WOW, WOW. There's a Skippy in there!!!!!

Uneventful Pregnancy

They all say that Uneventful Pregnancy is what you want. Because, of course, "events" in pregnancy are generally bad. I just wish there were some eventful things going on outside the pregnancy so I'd have something to think about other than baby registries, food, and the mystery of "what gave me gas?"

Poem for My Wife, in the Style of Ogden Nash, Composed at 6:00 AM Sunday Morning, on a Full Belly of Hash Browns and Fried Eggs

Oh my love, my lovely wife
Purveyor of things warm, toasty, and nutritious
You fill my belly with the finest stuff of life
For the health not just of me, but of us.

Nothing could be finer than waking from sleep to find
A beautiful woman coming near bearing food and smiles
As I try to adjust my eyes to the light, and my mind
to the fact that I really am so lucky as to have a wife
who knows that I will be wanting hot food at between
2:30 and 4:00AM each morning for the next several months,
and is willing to bring it to me on a tray that by that
time she will have carried miles.

When I am full you find instead that I want water
Or a bottle of sports drink with electrolytes (or at least I oughter.)
Or maybe a huge pile of blankets to burrow in on the couch
While unwinding after work as I try not to whine and grouch.

Thank you for everything a million times over.
Without you I'd be a total mess half the time
and my mornings would not be happy ones with you and
perfectly cooked whatever, but instead I'd be alone
with some pathetic microwaved food and Russell Stover.



(Ogden Nash)

Ways to Waste Money

As usual, a portion of my weekend has been spent browsing the baby sites and registries. I registered for a few things. I also found a few more I will NOT be registering for.

Check this out: Baby DNA Kit For just $30, you too can put some baby spit in a ziplock bag. There, now don't you feel prepared for anything?

Riiiight.

Introducing: Skippy's Game!

We'll be finding out the gender soon, so get in your votes!

Skippy's Guessing Game

(or go to expectnet.com and search for "Skippygame.")

Election Day

Well, it's election day, and after work I'm heading to the polls. On the ballot here in Tennessee is a constitutional ammendment against gay marriage. Second parent adoption laws are currently very ambiguous here, so going to the polls with Mombi and Skippy to vote on this will be a very personal experience.

Please, Tennessee. Think of our family. These bans make no sense.

Bits and Pieces: Random Updates and News

None of this stuff felt (or feels) big enough to get a post of its own. So here, in no particular order, are some recent updates and tidbits for your reading enjoyment:

Had an OB appointment today, everything looks good. No sonogram, but we got to hear Skippy's heartbeat for the first time. It was 153bpm, and sounded like a very soft choo choo train. I have my anatomy sonogram scheduled for the day before Thanksgiving. So on November 23 or 24, look for news on if Skippy is a boy or a girl.

Yes, I did it. I went home an hour early last Thursday and sent Mombi out to rent Sound of Music. She was incredulous, of course, but she played along. It was just what I needed.

Also today, Mombi got her new glasses! Her old ones had a very old prescription and the frames were just about dead. We got her the ultra deluxe lenses and some absolutely adorable frames, and it was so worth it! She's been squinting for years now and dealing with headaches. Her old glasses gave her a fishbowl perspective, and the anti-glare coating was totally worn off. These new ones use a new technology that got rid of the fish bowl sensation, and they fit her perfectly. I'm so happy for her that she can finally see again!

Dreams? Oh yes, many dreams. All of which seem to involve food at some point. Last night it was a spy thriller. I infiltrated their potluck. I didn't get my guy, but I did manage to finish my plate before things got dicey.

So how am I in general? Doing well, I think. I'm feeling weird and achy and twingy, and I definitely show depending on what I wear. Per the nurse a the OB office today, I'm right on track with all of that. The hormone issues seem to have straightened themselves out again. The miserableness seems to have faded for now, as has my BO. I'm back to smelling fresh and clean without any particular effort. On the down side, I'm also back to feeling a bit off, like I'm about to get a cold or something. But I'd much rather deal with that than subject Mombi to the bawling lunatic she had on her hands for a few days there.

Yes, I am. No, I'm not.

My dentist is 19 weeks pregnant, only 3 weeks ahead of me. It was very interesting talking to her about it while getting prepped for a crown yesterday. The poor thing... I can't imagine dealing with constant nausea and morning sickness while working as a dentist! With the smell issues I have, I'd never make it. As far as I know, she only had to dash for the bathroom once while working on me.

Once while it was just the tech and I, the tech asked me if my husband wanted a boy. I responded with the standard "My partner, actually. And yes, she is hoping for a boy." The tech fell all over herself apologizing for her mistake. I quickly reassured her that I, too, assume that any pregnant woman I see is straight. In fact, twice this week I've caught myself using the reasoning of "well, they have kids" as a reason for an assumption that someone is straight. I guess I need to work on that.

Time Goes Backwards

For a few days, I thought I was over the 4 month mark. I had to look at the calendar before I could tell myself otherwise. Then I went for most of this week thinking that I was at 16.5 weeks, not 15.5. Clearly, I'm not blogging enough, or I'd see my own ticker and know better.

Tomorrow I will be 16 weeks. Really.

Also tomorrow morning is my first appointment with my OB. I've finally been released from care with the Center for Reproductive Health, so it's time to time to join the world of "normal prenatal care." I have no idea if they're going to do an ultrasound or not. As long as they confirm that Skippy is doing well, I don't care how they do it. I had dental work done today (prep work for a crown) and although I know they said it wouldn't be a problem since they used special drugs, I still want the confirmation. Ditto with the fact that I was off Prometrium for a few days and then went back on a lower dosage. I feel like things are fine, but then again, I feel so odd most of the time that I don't really know what "fine" is supposed to feel like. I'll let you know tomorrow how it all turns out.

By the way, my sister sent me an e-mail today to mention that Ani Difranco is also pregnant. She's a trimester ahead of me, but it's still wild to think of us as being pregnant at the same time.

15 Weeks Pregnant Today!

And what a day it has been so far: Raining out, sniffles, bad sleep, flat tire... I won't bore you with the details, I'll just say I'd rather be at home with my girl. It's the sort of day when you want to curl up on the couch and watch Sound of Music. It's been years since I've wanted to watch it, but I may just have to stop at Blockbuster on the way home.

I think it was the ghastly flower perfume in one of the company restrooms that made me want to watch it, because for some reason it got that Edelweis song stuck in my head. (I hope I spelled it correctly, I don't feel like looking it up. My German and Austrian ancestors may be scorning me right now, but they'll have to deal with it. I switched the V for a W, so that must count for something.)

I shouldn't have taken a lunch break, I'm losing the little bit of momentum that I had. And this afternoon I'll be busy with the non-stop fun of organizational chart creation. Yippee.

United Way Campaign Starts Today

I'm on the campaign committee for my company's first ever United Way campaign, which starts today. It's fun stuff, but there's a lot to do. So for the next week or so, I'll probably be a bit absent. Just imagine me with my slightly-showing belly, handing out fake money with executives' pictures on it, dressing up to trick-or-treat for pledge cards, making balloon animals at the carnival, and scooping chili at the chili cook-off. I'm going to be one busy prego. And when I'm not at work, I'll be asleep. I guarantee you.

In other news: I munched my way through three orders of vegetarian sushi (dont worry, they know I'm pregnant and were very careful) for dinner last night, and still wanted more. Good grief!

Getting Spoiled

I'm turning into such a weekend slug. I spent most of this weekend on the couch re-reading (for the Xth time) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I've got a whole shelf full of brain candy reading materials, and I think I've read them all at least once in the past 3.5 months. Not that I'm complaining, of course, but I do wonder just how much of a shock I'm setting myself up for when Skippy arrives.

Alright, I suppose I should admit that I'm about as active as my body will let me be. I'm so busy during the week that on the weekends I really need to just rest. I'd love to do all sorts of great baby-preparation projects on the weekends. Instead, it's all I can do to prepare the baby. Sure, it's no small task creating a life form. But still.

Twitch to the Left! Twitch to the Right!

OK, so how long will it feel like someone is digging in my belly button at random times of the day? The twinges and stretches on the side quadrants are no big deal. And the ones below I'm learning to deal with. But come on now... As an adult, I do understand that my belly button is not directly connected to the baby's by way of the cord, as I once thought.

So what gives? Why should the expansion of my uterus make it feel like someone is stretching a rubberband that's tied to its backside? Can I look forward to this ending any time soon, or should I just get over it?

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

14 weeks, one day.

As of today, my belly is now the foremost portion of my body when I stand regularly. Wow!

I've been put back on Prometrium supplements (although only 100mg/day, not 300mg) so hopefully that will put a damper on my pre-post-partum depression. I know my sherpa will be happy about that! On the other hand, my recently calmed sense of smell may kick in again, and I can only hope that my newly expanded menu posibilities don't become limited again. The adventure just keeps going, and on Monday I get to call my OB to set up the rest of my appointments!

Here's a Post

I'm feeling pretty blah this evening, so I'm afraid you won't be getting my usual high-energy banter. The good news is that I have energy during the days again, but unfortunately it doesn't seem to last until evening, and lately I find that I get home just in time to turn to mush. It must be because the supplemental hormones are fading out of my system. It's like having a mini post-partum depression.

On the up side, Mombi takes good care of me. She puts me to bed when I get home, then wakes me up a couple hours later with food and Breyers coffee flavor ice cream. She reminds me that tears help my body shed toxins, and doesn't push me to "be happy" when I don't want to be. She's the best. As a reward, I've granted her total creative freedom on Skippy's room. It only seems fair, since I totally took over decorating the rest of the place when we moved in here in May!

Tomorrow I get the results of today's 7:15 am blood draw, and I'll know if I am released from care with the fertility specialist. If I am, I get to call and set up my first appointment with the doctor I believe will be my OB. It's a bit bittersweet, since I've become so attached to the folks at my RE's office, but I know we'll keep in touch. I'm not planning to take anyone off my "people to brag to about Skippy" list for quite a while.

Yay, Family!

As of Friday, Skippy had the following:

2 cloth diapers
2 onesies
1 soft rattle
1 water temperature ducky
1 giraffe picture

On Saturday, I went to visit my brother and my sister in law, and they gave Skippy a crib, a car seat, and a bunch of other stuff that their three girls no longer need. She also has a lot of girl clothes, so if Skippy is a girl, she will be set! Now we just need to get Skippy's room cleared out of all the other junk so that we can start setting it up. How exciting!

On Sunday, my mom took Skippy and me maternity shopping. It was so much fun! I swear, I haven't had this many new clothes at one time since I was a baby myself. I even got a maternity swimsuit so I can use the indoor pool! Now I just need to ration my new clothes so that they don't all enter my regular wardrobe circulation at the same time. It shouldn't be too hard, since some of them definitely look like empty sacks on me right now. But they won't for long!

I'm Not Faking It!

Yesterday I realized that I can no longer look flat stomached when I "suck it in." Cool! I, like many women, celebrated pregnancy as an excuse to not try so hard to keep the belly looking flat. How fabulous to know that it isn't just a choice any more, that I really do have a little pregnancy belly starting.

Of course, Mombi says I've had one for a while now. I don't know how much has been baby and how much has been pregnancy gas. I guess it all counts as pregnant belly, though!

Well, This is a Surprise!

No, it's not really as exciting as the title makes it sound, but I have to share with you a fabulous phenomenon that I've been experiencing since I got pregnant. No smell. No, I don't mean that I can't smell anything. I mean that I haven't needed deodorant since week 4 or so. Crazy, no? I don't know which hormone is controling my underarms right now, but I hope it isn't one of the prescribed ones, because I'd be sorry to see this little benefit go when I stop taking Prometrium and "the Estradol one" this weekend.

In other good news, it looks like I didn't have a virus last week, so I don't need to worry that I made anyone sick by trying to go to work that way. The bad news is that I made this discovery by having the same symptoms again starting last night, and now I'm pretty sure that it's food poisoning caused by beef sticks I had in my fridge. Needless to say, they are no longer there. Just in case it wasn't the beef sticks, though, I've decided to start keeping a food journal. Hopefully it will help me to track what I can and can't eat these days. It really doesn't help that the rules seem to change from day to day, either! In any case, it's another busy day at work today, so I'm just going to have to deal with it and try to stay hydrated better this time around.



Oh yeah, and we had a sonogram yesterday! And no, that's not a boy part you see. We've got at least a month until we'll be able to see (or not see) that. Skippy was moving around and stretching like mad. The nurse and tech said we might need to get a baby-sized Lazy-Boy!


I tell ya, there's a major fringe benefit that comes from using a fertility doctor... they do lots of ultrasounds to make sure that everything is perfect! Most people these days only get one or maybe two during their entire pregnancy, but I've been getting them every two weeks.

Of course, that's only true through next week, when I'll be released from care with Dr. V and will start seeing my regular OB. I have no idea what her policy is. I think I want to get one of those doplar listening things, because I can't imagine not being able to "check in" with Skippy as regularly as we have been. I get worried as it is, I can't imagine going months without seeing Skippy bouncing and swimming around in there!

What counts as dehydrated?

OK, so I had a virus or something at the end of last week (mainly Thursday and Friday) and I guess I got dehydrated, because I've been pretty lethargic and very thirsty since then. I did the little test where you pinch the skin on the back of your hand to see if it goes back down quickly, and according to that I'm fine, but I read that if I get too dehydrated, Skippy's swimming pool could get too small and cause deformities because s/he won't have room to stretch out while bones are forming.

I called my RE's office this morning, but I haven't heard back yet. What do you think I should do? I don't want to go to the hospital if they're just going to tell me to drink more sports drinks. My belly feels over-full with liquid as it is! My mouth is still dry, though, and it's got me worried.

Anyone else experience something like this?

Sherpa Games

Sherpa Game Number 1: While your pregnant partner is sleeping, heat up some yummy-smelling food. See how long it takes her to wake up and come out to see if she can have some. The clock starts from whenever you can first smell it while in the kitchen. Who ever can lure out the pregnant woman fastest wins.

Sherpa Game Number 2: Same as above, but this time you're going for stealth. See if you can make her food that smells good and get it to her room before she wakes up. Note: it doesn't count if she's awake in bed, trying to will you to bring the food to her. She has to be asleep when you cross the threshold.

Thank You, Sherpa!

(First, a call out to Lesbian Dad, who coined the use of this term for supportive partners of pregnant women. Well done!)

My lovely Mombi is off on her first middle-of-the-night supermarket raid, in search of Breyer's brand coffee ice cream, crunchy cheetos, and the makings of barbeque sandwiches, complete with coleslaw, which she loathes. I'm camped out on the couch, watching Mirrormask and awaiting her victorious return.

The most brilliant part is that it was all her idea. Ah... now that's love.

Holy Crud, I'm Pregnant!

I swear, just when I think I've gotten used to the idea, it hits me all over again. I was reading in the tub last night when I glanced down and realized (as if for the first time) that there is a tiny kiddo bobbing around in there. I don't think I'll ever really truly get used to it.

I'll go for days feeling like pregnancy is the normal state of things, that it's normal for me to lean back in my chair at work with my hand on my belly, for me to constantly be snacking or thinking about snacking, for my sleep to come a few hours at a time with 15 minute segments of total altertness throughout the night.

But then I'll be cruising along, just going with the pregnant flow, and suddenly it's there... I'm pregnant. I'm really actually pregnant. Mombi and I are finally going to be moms. We did it. It's happening.

The realization sensation is very much like the process of coming out of the closet. For those of you who have experienced one or the other, you now have an insight to the "other side" that few posess. I remember the first time I kissed a girl. Sure, I'd theoretically known that I would. I knew that I thought that I wanted to. But to know that I'd actually kissed a GIRL... In a way, I think it surprised me just as much as it could surprise anyone else!

That same surprise will still hit me at other times, but in a different way. When I'm totally content and happy just hanging out at home with Mombi, I'll suddenly remember that some people would be totally scandalized just by seeing us sitting on the couch together. Some people are so weird. How can this not be a normal and natural way for us to be?

And now we're going to have a baby. What a wonderful world!

CAUTION: Subconscious Liberal Gunslinging

Some pregnant women dream that they're in a situation where they have to defend their child. Yep, I've had a couple of those, too. But last night I drempt that I somehow snuck into a fundraiser/speech featuring Goobus Maximus, our illustrious (here meaning "having no luster") leader, Mr. George Witless Bastard.

Ooh, and I got him good. During the open discussion period, I used all those bland generic comments that his writers love so much (because he can't mess them up, and because no one can proove later that he meant one thing or the other.) He held me up for the audience as a fine example of American youth and intelligence and "the next generation of independent thinkers working for the good of the people."

Then, I expanded on those points, in the direction I believe they should be expanded. It felt so good to see that "I'm not sure but I think this could be very bad for me" face staring dumbly back at me, while behind him his constituancy involuntarily nodded their heads to what I'd said.

Oh yeah, I'm ready to be a parent. And the first thing I want to do is to put that brainless jerk (and the folks doing the steering) into a nice long time out.

Feeling Good! Just a Fluke, or could it be...

I'm nearing the end of the first trimester. My energy is finally picking back up, and although I'm still having problems with getting woozious when I'm hungry and bloated and gassy when I'm full, I'm doing pretty well!

I finally gave in and got some gas relief tablets from Kroger, and WOW do they help! I wish I'd known about these years ago. I never really believed that they could help, but they really do! So all you ladies out there who are dealing with too much pressure in the baby-cabin, try it! So far, it's even keeping me from having any heartburn.

Of course, it could also be that I'm finally figuring out what I can and can't eat right now... but I'm guessing that's not it, because I had chicken tandoori (spicy indian food with chicken and spinach) and string cheese for lunch, and my two big probem food types have been spicy stuff and milk products.

I still look like a girl with a pooch rather than a girl with a baby pouch, but I'm getting closer. I went ahead and bought my first pair of maternity jeans, and although they feel very loose around the belly when I'm not full of gas, they feel much much better than my pre-pregnancy jeans. I don't think I'll even attempt those again until a couple months after the baby is born.

This weekend my big plan is to catch up on laundry, since I've been too tired to do it, and Mombi has been busy feeding me. It's a bit frustrating to look at those huge mounds of dirty clothes and to know that half of them won't be wearable after I wash them anyway. It's enough to make a girl wish she had a storage facility closet to just hide it all in. Has anyone invented disposable clothing yet? I usually don't use anything disposable, but right now, you could count me in!

The Agony of Complete Satisfaction

I am so full. I am so full of good food that I won't even bother adding the extra "o"s at the end of "so" to try to express it. Today I got to participate in a panel at a food tasting to decide on what food will be served at my company's Holiday party, and I ate WAY too much. But oh, was it good... An hour later, I'm still making happy groaning sounds. It's cracking Mombi up. She's quickly coming to understand, though, because I had them box up what I couldn't finish so she could have it for dinner. (Hehe, she just hummed as she ate. She's so cute!)

I've been at a loss for what to eat lately because my digestion is so wacky, but let me tell you, everything they served hit the spot. We're talking two full four course meals and two full size desserts, here. Yes. That's right. Now you come to understand the seriousness of my situation. It's a good thing I just had graham crackers and water up until then today, or my eyes might have popped out. I went from looking like two months pregnant to looking like four months pregnant over the course of an hour and a half!

Week 11 Sonogram

Today we are 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant!

Here are some pictures from our sonogram this morning. As you can see, Jif has disappeared in the mysterious way that twins sometimes do. Apparently, Jif decided that s/he wasn’t getting enough attention as part of a set, and preferred to wait until next time around.

Skippy, on the other hand, is enjoying the new space by dancing all over the place. It was hard to get good pictures because of all the wiggling going on in there. What an amazing thing to watch, though! We’re a bit bummed not to be having twins, of course, but we’re totally thrilled by how well Skippy is doing. We’re very happy and excited about our new family!

Dreams Tell All

I haven't posted any dreams lately because they've gotten weirder, longer, and more disjointed. At this point, most of my dreams would take at least four screens to describe, and you'd probably give up halfway through because they would make no sense anyway. They didn't even make sense while I was dreaming them. So, here in no particular order I present to you some selections and synopses of some of the dreams I've been having. Feel free to post any suggested meanings or insights!

I'm at the home of a couple of genius mountain goats who own an art/architecture bookstore. Their home is out in the middle of a field, built inside an old semi trailer. As I'm being led through to the living room, I step on the wrong spot on their raised dining room and the whole thing starts to shift like a precariously balanced rock. The next thing I know, I'm surfing across their bookshelves, which are sliding everywhere, with their dining room floor as a surfboard. My friends (who work in the bookstore) appologize profusely to the goats for my lack of grace, and assure them that they had no idea that I wasn't capable of watching where I put my feet.

I'm in a hotel with a bunch of other college students (no, I'm not still in college in real life) for some sort of spring break conference or event. We're getting ready to meet friends, when the cat I'm petting out by the pool suddenly starts talking as if channeling spirits. Very strange. So we try to find our friend's room, only to discover that the floors seem to have changed around on us. The next thing we know, we're in the middle of a series of freaky interactions with "spirits" of some sort. We're battling our way through hallways, rooms, and lobbies, growing less incredulous moment by moment, until at last we're in this one room when we hear yet another voice coming from nowhere, saying something or other. When I finally get my breath back from battling invisible force fields to get into the room, I realize that the voice is actually addressing each of us. For example, "Stephen, you're such a cool and calm leader. Leaders like Stephen use X anti-perspirant for when the heat is really on. It helps a leader stay cool." Eventually we all realize that the voice is not taunting us, but trying to sell products to us. Out of the restroom comes one of the people in our team who had been "lost to the underworld" somewhere along the way, modeling an argyle sweater... The man who provided the "voice" walked next to him. After describing the sweater, he explained that we were some of the first people in the world to experience the radical new technology of interactive advertising. Everyone who stayed in the hotel would be subjected to some variation of the maze we'd been led through.

I'm helping out serving food at the wedding of some unidentified extended family member. My mom asks me if I'd be willing to distribute the ice cream. Sure, no problem, I think. Yeah. Problem. She hands me a half gallon plastic tub of some sort of three flavor swirl ice cream, and a plastic spoon. There are at least 30 people sitting at the table watching me, waiting for their ice cream. There's no way I'll be able to serve them each more than a tablespoon and still have enough to serve everyone, and they don't have any spoons or bowls or anything. I need supplies and a plan. What follows is a bit too painful to describe, but involves a lot of melted ice cream and grumpy/frustrated guests.

Mombi and I and our 9 mo old child are living in an old psychiactric hospital that we've purchased to remodel into a home. The only down side is that the former (psychotic) residents haunt the place, and they want us out. Whenever they feel our skin make contact with part of the buliding, any spirits that were close enough to sense it try to get rid of us by turning into corporeal giant spiders that spit toxic sludge at us. The good news is that we were all still alive and unharmed when I woke up.

I get caught messing around at summer camp when I'm supposed to be paying attention to a field trip presentation on how the gears on stage curtain lifters work. I explain that I already know, that I figured it out, and that I could probably build one myself if I wanted to. The teacher/guide is pissed, much the way most teachers are when they realize that you already know what they are supposed to be teaching you. So as "punishment" he assigns me to do just that, and points to a huge pile of spare parts. I think the intention was to make me back down on my statement that I already knew how they worked. It totally backfired, though, when I got all excited and wanted to get started right then, while the other students were still sitting there listening to a lecture. So I ended up getting to spend my evenings (presumably for the whole summer) climbing around on riggings up in the ceiling of a massive theater. Awesome!

Ginger is Good for Morning Sickness

But try to mix it up with other stuff, it's very strong. I was practically living on it for a week or so. I stopped when I couldn't stand the sight or smell of anything ginger any more, but I've been having stomach pains for the past week or so. Now I'm afraid I may have burned the lining of my stomach!

Moving slow

Today I don't feel pregnant. Today I feel like a pot-bellied zombie turtle.

Baby gear

Date check: I'm 9 weeks 3 days pregnant as of today.

We received our first baby gear gifts yesterday! My sister in law gave us a ducky that indicates if bath water is too hot (very cool, since one of our bathrooms houses our ducky collection,) and my mom gave us a nice small "quick trip" diaper bag. Woo hoo! Maybe it's time to start thinking about clearing out the baby's room. Although truly, since we're not really planning to decorate it other than to hang a picture or two, it's not like we don't have plenty of time.

We're hoping to get as much stuff "used" as we can, including gifts, so the chances of getting anything that matches is pretty slim. We figure there's plenty of time to do a themed room once the kid is old enough to have an opinion. Still, I haven't been able to resist doing some registries. We're registered at Target and BabyCenter.com. I figure most of that same stuff can be found at consignment shops or on ebay anyway. What we really need are a bunch of cloth diapers/covers and a washer and dryer, but I haven't found anyplace to register for good cloth diapers, and I'm not about to be so rude as to register for a washer and dryer. Ah well.

Happy Friday!

TGIF!

It's been a heck of a week, and I'm so glad that it's Friday! It's not that this week has been particularly busy or particularly tiring or anything like that, it's just been emotionally draining. I'm looking forward to some quality time on the couch with my trusty laptop this weekend to even things out. Some people go for shopping therapy, I prefer to stare at an LCD screen for as many hours as I can stand. Which of course is diminished now that I fall asleep so easily, but that's another matter entirely!

Here's my question for the weekend: If you could imagine the perfect slogan to put on a gift for your partner (particularly around pregnancy or parenting, but I'm up for whatever) what would it be?

Perks of Pregnancy

Sure, it's nice to be able to sleep through the night without any effort when you're not pregnant. On the other hand, it's also nice to give in to the desire to hop out of bed at 3:30 AM to fix yourself some bread with butter and strawberry preserves.

Life is good. Cheers, everyone!

Firsts: Tears

Sad news, it does not look like Jif (Baby B) will be making it into the world. Ultra sound today showed no heartbeat and very little room since Skippy is doing so well.

We are sad, yes very sad but we are now going to focus all of our positve energies on Skippy who is doing very well and is developing on schedule and has a wonderful heart beat.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and keep is in your hopes.

Mombi

Happy Birthday Nana!

My mom turns 50 today. In honor of her, I'd like to take a moment to share some of my best memories of her when I was little. At bedtime, I used to curl around sideways so I could put my head on her lap while we said prayers. I tended to get a bit elaborate, just to keep my head there a bit longer. Mom had a way of making the simplest meals the most special. The ultimate dinner treat was tortilla chips with cheddar cheese melted on them. Mom used to eat toast with peanut butter for lunch every day. It was her quiet time, and she usually read while she ate. I totally respect her for holding on to that time for herself. We lived out in the country, so she went grocery shopping for our family of six once every week or two. When she got home, the entire kitchen floor would fill up with brown paper grocery bags full of stuff. It was awe inspiring then, and even more so now that I know how much effort that must have taken! Mom encouraged us to find ways to amuse ourselves, and provided the basic means for us to create whatever we wanted (within reason). When we went to the fair and I saw the "invisible dog" leashes they were selling, I desperately wanted one. She said no, but let me use a coat hanger and a whole bunch of pipe cleaners to make my own! She never told us to not be silly. Mom encouraged reading. We'd come home from the library with a 15 lb stack each. We got to choose one book to read immediately, while she wrote down the names of all the others in a notebook so that none would be lost without us knowing it on due day. When we were old enough, Mom let us play in the bathtub for a LONG time. Mom hates camping, but she never tried to stop us from going with Dad. Frankly, I bet she enjoyed the "time off." Mom taught me to be clean when it counts, although it took me 25 years to decide that it does indeed count sometimes other than holidays.
Mom sent me chainmail underwear and vitamins for Easter when I was in college, and messages in bottles. When Mombi and I decided to leave Denver and move back home, she helped to make us comfortable and never asked up front how long we intended to stay. It was such a huge relief. I could go on and on, but I have to save something for the next "Mom" event.

I love you , Mom!

Shifts in Priorities

It's been a tiring week. Good, most of it, but tiring. I've come to the conclusion that I'll be doing most of my living on the weekends for a while. I'm just too tired during the week to start anything really interesting. I've been re-reading all of my favorite books for the bazillionth time, chatting with my girl, and generally lounging about.

This weekend I think I'm going to sew myself some belly bands because most of my shirts are already too short. OK, so most of them are too tight around the top, too, but I can't fix that. I've also got some new ideas for the gift shop in my head, so I'll be spending some quality time on the couch with my trusty Wacom graphics tablet. (If any of you out there are into graphic design or photo editing and don't have one, shame on you!) I may even spend some time standing in the middle of the mess in the future babies' room, although I doubt I'll actually jump in and start organizing.

And, of course, I'll be spending all this time in as close of proximity to my fabulous wife as possible. She's so amazing. Seriously. She rocks my world. She made me clove toast for breakfast today. Like cinammon toast, but with cloves instead. YUMMY!!!

Chemical Messages and REM Sleep

Wowie, it's been a few days! Sorry about that! I've been either sleeping or catching up on housework since I posted last. No, I take that back, I've been doing housework, sleeping, and having crazy dreams!

Dream 2:
There's something physically wrong with me, something that can be fixed in a radical new surgical procedure that a doctor says he can do for me. I agree, and within hours I'm in the hospital, going under general anesthesia for the surgery. As I'm losing consciousness, it occurs to me that all I know about what the doctor plans to do is that it has something to do with replacing some of my parts with cat parts. For some reason, I have a fear that he's just going to take my lungs out and put them in a cat. Hmm... Maybe I should have asked for more details while I could? It's way too late for that, so I just have to hope for the best.

I wake up in the hospital feeling great, and look down to see that I still have all my own limbs. I feel like me. So far, so good. My family shows up (along with one of the family cats, Abydos) and they all coo over how great I look and how much better I must be feeling. Mom even mentioned that she loved my hair. Well, not everyone is cooing. Abydos is rolling around on the nice cool hospital floor, mumbling something about stupid humans that don't know a good thing when they see it, and that they should all be enjoying the finer things in hospital living, rather than standing around a bed talking to another stupid human.

No, I didn't just intuit that because that's what it always looks like cats are telling us. I could actually understand him. I don't know if it was the aim of the surgery or just a side effect, but I could definitely communicate. Of course, Abydos didn't believe that the replies were coming from me. He figured he was imagining things, because clearly there were no inteligent beings in the room to answer him. He just concluded that he was bored out of his mind by all the "human stuff."

Soon, I was awake enough in my dream to realize that I had to go to the bathroom. I got up and went into the hospital bathroom. I looked in the mirror, and cracked up. The hair on the top of my head had been replaced by a big mop of longhaired calico craziness. It was too long for cat hair, though. It looked like a human-scale version of the mess that sits on top of a long-haired guinea pig. Very chic.


I woke up loving life, and wishing I had that hair!

Stay tuned for the other dream I had the same night. I'll post it tonight, but right now it's time to get ready for work!

So Many Kinds of Family

One of the most remarkable things about the TTC process is that it brings together people of such different backgrounds and situations. During the past few months, we have heard of so many kinds of families that we've truly been awed and amazed by the range of what "family" means to different people.

I've been doodling and designing shirts and gifts for many of my new friends, and have come up with enough designs to open a gift shop for the blog. To celebrate all the beautiful variations on the concept of "family," and also, I admit, to help support the rather shocking fact that we're going to have twins soon (!) we'd like to invite you to visit the new gift shop, and perhaps find something for your own family.

I'm still designing (in between naps and all that other pregnancy stuff) so if you have an idea for a design that you think I should do, just post it whenever!

Introducing Skippy and Jif!

After much debate, Mombi and I have decided on Skippy and Jif as temporary names for our little peanuts. Thanks for the great suggestion, Nana! Now all we have to do is come up with more "real" names, since the chances are two in three that we'll need one more name to go with one of the two we already have picked out.

We were on BabyCenter last night using their name search engine. If you haven't seen it yet, you really should check it out. It's much better than any of the other onese we've seen out there, which pretty much just list a bunch of names. At BabyCenter, you can search by first letter, last letter, number of syllables, and/or origin. You can also search for names with the same meaning. Excellent! Of course, now Mombi has her heart set on naming a girl Dwynwen...